Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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