I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Boobs speak an international language.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.