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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Wtf? Why?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I want awesome conversations to show the world.

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• (646): View more from New York

  You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.

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• 

  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  did i really sing to your nipples last night?

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  yes. and it was oddly very seductive

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.

  (1-226): View more from Ontario

  I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  So date night went well?

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Is this because I accidentally peed on you?

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