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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4

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• (626): View more from California

  Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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• (925): View more from California

  so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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• (949): View more from California

  i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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• (845): View more from New York

  Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night

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