Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.