Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop