last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.