I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize