She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits