my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!