I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it