he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
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he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy