Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.