She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
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i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
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I need moral support for this bender
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.