I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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