I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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