It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize