I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize