No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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