I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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