Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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