By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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