I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize