i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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