i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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