Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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