we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
