omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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