Ambien. No doubt about it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
