i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
