the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize