I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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