Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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