READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
