nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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