I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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