i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
