If that was your dad, he is hot
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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