Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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