Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
