Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
