I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
