My sheets look like a crime scene.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize