I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You may now shotgun with the bride
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?