WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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