I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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