I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize