I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do vagina's smell?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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