is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize