well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
