when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
