Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize