the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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