I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
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