i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.