How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.