This is not my ceiling
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!