How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
