Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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