I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We got so high we made milksteak
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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