All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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