Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize