dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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